Joy in uncertainty

Having spent the evening last night writing an emotional well-being lesson for young people on how to deal with the stress of lockdown I started to think about how I could actually apply some of those lessons to my own life. Here are my thoughts

 Life is full of uncertainties right now!! So many!!! How are your anxiety levels doing? Mine has certainly spiked numerous times these past two months.

Are schools going to open again? Will I be able to send both of my girls back? How much longer can I juggle all these balls? Now that the schools are opening should I send my Year 6 back?  ..…

So many variables and so many uncertainties. What are yours? 

Have you ever heard of the two control circles?

                                  The CAN Circle and the CAN’T Circle

Very simply put most things in life fit into two circles.

There are things that you can do something about they go in the CAN circle.

Then there are the things that you cannot do anything about these factors in the CAN’T circle.

The things you CAN control in life things are things like your attitude to the situation you find yourself in. So hard I know but yes. Your kindness and again how you choose to respond to things thrown at you, asking for help when the going gets tough and learning from your past mistakes.

Then there are things in life that you can’t control. The weather for example or a hard one for me other people’s actions, things that they say and do I can do nothing about! How about this one - my past mistakes! I have to call it done and leave it in the past – ouch!

I can’t change other people, but I can change myself. Wisdom is in learning the difference between the two. In my lesson last night, I encouraged the young people to sit down and think through their life right now and write a list of all the things that they can control. Things that they have a say in changing. Next, write a list of things in their life that they can’t do anything about. I wonder what that would look like for you? For me one I find really hard is I wonder why the person I’ve text still hasn’t replied to my message did they misunderstand me? are they upset with me? 

Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer – it goes like this.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

I love that as I feel like it sums up life in a nutshell. Not for once does it promise that it will be easy. Courage is a bold word. I looked it up in the dictionary and this is what it said – “the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery; strength in the face of pain or grief”

Facing up to the facts but choosing to go ahead with the things that need changing. That is courage!

I read another quote too that said Happiness is not a destination it’s a way of life. Or as my pastor always says “happiness is not in our happenings”. It’s about finding joy within us that is not dependant on circumstances.

Today I hope that you will be able to take some time to enjoy the sun that is shining outside and that as you take a moment to take stock of your circumstances and what you can control and can’t that you will find joy in the things that you can and celebrate those.