If Momma ain't happy then no-body's happy.
If Momma ain’t happy then nobody is happy.
It’s 24/7 and quite all-consuming this COVID -19 pandemic I feel right now. I’m no stranger to juggling numerous balls and would freely admit we live a pretty packed life [this is London so I am sure that you could relate to that right? ]. However this new season that I have found myself in has proved tougher than I thought it would be.
Life before Corona - I had a routine. Things were worked out, in my head at least, I knew what I was doing and how to make things happen and then this happened - BAM.
I was chatting to a friend and they said that psychologists have said that we have reached that what they would say is the equivalent of “Blue Monday” in January where the shock factor of this pandemic is starting to slow down and the reality of the fact “this is what my life is now going to look like” is starting to dawn and for many, it’s a daunting prospect.
I have definitely struggled this week as the reality of this what it is going to look like for the next while starts to settle in and I have come to terms with what I need to keep doing. Being thrown in the deep end as a home-schooling Mum has been way harder than I thought and I have come to the end of myself way more times in a day than I want to admit. Algebra, Shakespeare’s sonnets for my year 6, and imperative pronouns and isosceles triangles have taken every ounce of me this week.
Then once homeschooling is over I have set up the laptop and tried to make sure that everything in my work world is happening as it should and that I am not just keeping things afloat but making a difference to young people’s lives as I want to be doing.
Now, this is my dilemma – I love my girls dearly and really enjoy parenting and absolutely love both of the roles that I do as my “job” and wouldn’t want to change them for the world, so why am I finding this all SOOOOOOO HARD.
I had to take a time out and get this straight in my head. When hubby came home after work the other night I put on my trainers and went for a run – okay who am I kidding it – was a fast walk. I just needed to get out of the house and be by myself. I was the first time in I don’t know how long where I was all alone – no-one was relying on me – no dinner to be cooked, house to clean, maths sum to explain or e-mail to reply too – just me and my thoughts. As I walked I had rather a cross conversation with God and asked Him how I was meant to get through the foreseeable future.
Here are my conclusions.
- I am not a teacher and do not need to be! [Flipping heck have I even more respect now than I have ever had for teachers.] They have a university degree to do their job and so they know exactly how to explain a Shakespearean Sonnet to an 11year old. Me, I am a Mum – not just a Mum - but a Mum and my job is to love and care and nurture my children in the way that I know how to. I need to be making sure that I create a home where my children are feeling happy, content and safe as they are not going to learn anything if that’s not in place. Once I have done that then as a mum I am going to try my best to explain what I know how too, watch a YouTube clip for what I don’t and then call it a day and that’s OKAY!
- I am not superwoman and I don’t need to be! I can’t keep all of the balls in my life in the air 24/7. Sleep, eat and rest are necessary essentials for life and so I need to make sure I get them.
- Downtime is just as important! I can’t be spending all of my time just keeping everybody else happy. I am sure that you have heard the quote before If Momma ain’t happy then nobody’s happy”. My pastor goes even further and has a saying “Happy wife = happy life”. Simply put I need to make sure that I am doing things that bring me joy.
What are those things for you? Could it be going for a walk in nature in the sunshine, reading a good book, watching your favourite movie and having a good cry, having a candlelight bubble bath or finding a moment to be by yourself somehow where you can just be with no-one to take care of for just a little while.
It’s so important to take a break and have some time out. We all need it if we are going to be able to continue on this journey.
Remember IF MOMMA AIN’T HAPPY THEN NOBODIES HAPPY so take a moment in your day to check that you are and if you not then please for everybody’s sake but mostly your own make sure you plan some time to make sure that you are.